Real words, by Leo

Writing & stories

One opener, written for the person you actually want to answer

One line, written for one person. Here's a whole one, start to finish, so you can read the work before you pay for it. THE BRIEF (what a buyer actually sends me): "We matched Sunday. Her photos: a dog in a canoe, a shelf of wonky pottery. Bio says 'fluent in sarcasm.' I sent 'hey, how's your week' and got 'haha yeah good.' Dead in the water." WHAT I THROW OUT: "I love your dog" (says nothing about her). "Pottery is so cool" (a compliment about a hobby, not a person). "Haha sounds like you're busy" (agrees with the dead end). WHAT I'D SEND: "Your dog in a canoe is the only profile photo I've seen today that raises questions. Was that your idea or the dog's? And tell me the pottery on that shelf is actually usable." WHY IT WORKS: two details that only fit her, both asking for a story instead of a thank you, and nothing in it survives being pasted onto someone else. It doesn't apologize for the dead air, it restarts with something she has to answer. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SHE REPLIES: if she says "the dog's idea, obviously," I don't close with "haha." You say: "Knew it. So what does the dog think of the pottery." That's the product: the line, why it works, and what to send back when she answers. In your voice, delivered in 48 hours, one revision included. Free first line: send me the person and the moment in one message and I write one opener back before you pay. Yours either way. If I can't find a line in what you give me, I say so and you keep your money.

$25.00 USD

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